While yes this is that type of story, but I promise you if you keep reading you will see I share the big picture, not just the cutesy polaroid.
I’ve never shared this story with you all but since its almost been a year and a half, I figure why not.
So a lot of you know I had my heart broken in Winter 2017, and then a smaller heartbreak that following summer of 2018. That heartbreak in 2017 destroyed me. It took me about 3 months to feel normal again and about a full 6 months to recover. And guess what! I got dumped again in Summer 2018, so suffice to say Fall 2018 was not great.
But what a lot of you don’t know is that exactly one year after my first breakup….to the EXACT day, I had my first date with my boyfriend. It took us about a month to get to that point, mainly because I had a crazy schedule and also because I had certain rules.
Before any house date, always have a first date in a public place. I blame that on Law & Order and also because its easier when you’re both on a level playing field. He had asked if I wanted to come over for dinner, but I shot him down because of that particular rule. He then asked me out to a concert on a Sunday evening and in all honestly I did not want to be a blob on Monday. Finally a few days later he finally wore me down by simply asking if I was free the following Saturday. I responded yes and he responds “cool, let’s go to this concert together”.
I won’t lie to you all, I was like “Hell no a concert on a first date!! What psycho plans that!”. But I also had the worse dating year of my life, so I really had nothing to lose. (My date right before this one, I went to thinking it was the other guy in the photo…that was my lowest point lol.). I asked if we could first meet at a bar, to make things easier. I remember vividly as I was getting dressed that night, thinking to myself, “worse comes to worse, I sneak away to go to the bathroom and leave”.
I remember walking inside the bar and it being packed. I texted saying “I was here” and waited about a good 5 minutes before a response came through. I got the “where to go” text and immediately thought “ok let’s get this over with”.
We hit it off pretty quickly talking about random things.
I remember him telling me that he’s weird and I remember telling him that I am weirder. I then spilled one of my childhood secrets about my obsession with Digimon and how I made a tribute Youtube video to one of the couples. I HAD never told that to a guy before let alone on a first date. But I definitely credit my comfort to the fact that I had realized along the online dating journey that I am who I am, weird and all, and that’s what makes me, me. If you don’t like it, bye Felicia.
After 30 minutes, we walked over to the concert hall and waited for the show to start. But the conversation never stopped. I remember half way into the show staring up into the ceiling which was painted like a sky by the way, and thinking “please God I like him, if he breaks my heart don’t let it be too painful” followed by a weird sense of “this is different than anything I’ve experienced”.
The concert finished and we were not ready to end the night just yet so onto an arcade bar we went. The rest is sort of history. Within a week, we were official, and I just sat in shock at the fact that my little dating schedule of waiting atleast 3 months before being official went out the window. I finally met a guy who knew what he wanted, and went for it.
I am not sharing this with you all to brag. Yes this is an adorable story and I am so beyond happy I can share it.
But before this crazy happiness, I went through a lot of pain, a lot of heartbreak, and a lot of hurt. I experienced ghosting, breadcrumbing, dumping, insecurity among a lot of other emotions. Now I can joke about the fact that I literally tried every single dating app out there. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, The League, Coffee Meets Bagel, Badoo, and Plenty of Fish. But don’t let my humor negate the fact that online dating was easy. Gosh no, it was the absolute opposite. I went out on a lot of first dates, second dates and third dates. I got rejected, but I also rejected. It taught me a lot about who I am, what I want out of life and how important loving oneself first is. I read a lot of articles and a lot of books (Why Men like Bitches is still a book I recommend everyone reads). I lowered my standards to see if all my requirements were just that, required. I heightened my standards when I realized what key facts were important to me. I learned the importance of grieving after a breakup and learned that you don’t know what heartbreak is until you experience it.
The universe tested me so hard, but I am stronger because of it.
So if you are in a rough patch right now, know that you are not alone.
Behind every “How we met story”, there is a lot behind the scenes that people don’t tell you.
But that’s why I am here, to share that the world is not filled with rainbow pooping unicorns. It is however filled with rainbows after nasty shit storms.