You wanna know what has always bothered me about the dating world and more specifically online dating…that the go-to first date of choice always has be to be grabbing a drink. I get the convenience and the lack of commitment to it, but why does alcohol have to always be the activity of choice?
I have said this quite a few times, when you’re doing a round of whole30 or living that whole30 life, you can and should go be social and this does include dating! Is it easy…ummm no not at all. I will be the first to admit that I have done everything in my power to not go out on a date on my whole30. But the moment I decided this is my lifestyle now I was like heck why not. I will go into the food portion of dating another time, but today I want to focus on the drinking aspect especially with @Melissa_Hartwig’s campaign of “I’m not drinking right now”.
I am not a big drinker to be completely honest. I tend to have a drink if I am meeting a friend or if I am going out or if I am celebrating something, but drinking a glass of wine by myself at home has never been something I’ve done. This stems from the fact that alcohol has not had the best history in my family’s past and I personally have my own experiences with it that have traumatized me to this day. But that’s me! The fact that I am not a big drinker is and should be completely ok. Sadly not always the case…people can be very quick to judge but in the end I will always say “keep your eyes on your own cup”. My level of enjoyment is not based on what’s in my glass.
Now back to drinking and dating. Let me start with that in the beginning I would go along with the “Grab a drink and meet up” scenario and I would just order a seltzer water. Sometimes it was fine…but most of the time it wasn’t….I even had a date who got really upset that I wasn’t drinking. It was really awkward. I still stood my ground tho. I quickly learned that in order to make this work for me I should just be upfront.
Now if I really really don’t want to meet for a drink I say….”I’m doing a cleanse and I’m not drinking, do you mind if we meet for coffee”….if your date likes you enough and wants to meet, he/she shouldn’t have ANY issue with this. And if they do…well better to know now then waste your time. After the first date, you will be able to gauge if you want them to know your story…but again you DO NOT OWE THEM ANYTHING. Heck if you want maybe don’t say anything about it and use it as a screener test. ***Uses this idea on her next date.
Society is who society is and people are who they are. The standard has been “oh you’re not drinking, are you pregnant or are you a recovering alcoholic?” No I am just not drinking right now. Society will not change by itself, it’s us who have to stand our ground. You have the choice to say no. Let’s make sure we do!
So if you’re like me, single, riding in the online dating lane, and not drinking right now, let’s be the change and try to change the standard. Again if someone likes you, they will do everything in their power so that you like them back!